My Drug Addiction

by Kimberly Blaker

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Now, as I lie in bed, I reflect on it. It’s my best friend and my worst enemy. I deliberate about how much it’s costing me, not just financially, but the toll it’s taking on my body. It’s stealing the rug from under my feet.

It’s draining my energy and making my heart race through life. I can’t catch my breath. My skin is aging, and the substance leaves my body with a repulsive odor. I think about the diseases it puts me at risk for, such as cancer, heart disease, and emphysema. I don’t want to die that way. I want to live a full life.

I tell myself to go to sleep, and tomorrow I’ll start anew. I’ll dry up and go straight. However, as I drift closer to sleep, I know that tomorrow will go unchanged, for the craving is already creeping in again. I’m dependent in this love-hate relationship. I look forward to my next drag off a cigarette. Nicotine is my life—and will probably be my death.

 

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